I asked SPFPP listeners if they experienced any of the following upon their herpes diagnosis; depression, suicide ideation, self-harm tendencies, attempted suicide. We had a rather large participation on this and 6% of listeners said they had in fact attempted suicide. This podcast episode is for you. This world would not be as it is in this moment without you. Please know that you are necessary.
I'm working to get to STD Engage: http://www.ncsddc.org/std-engage-2019/ to present SPFPP to the people who can get this resource to people when they're diagnosed. That's my goal for this. You all answering this survey sharing how listening to this podcast has helped you has been a tremendous help and I gotta tell you I didn't see it doing all you say it has done for you.
I talk about this and make some small talk in this episode. I also don't edit this one because I choose to practice speaking better so that when it comes time to talk to these people and present to donors, I get better. I 'like' and 'umm' and don't use silence very well so please bear with me ya'll. Thank you for your patience and support.
Now this STD Engage event (if I'm approved) costs $550 to attend lol. So if you want to donate to help make that happen please send donations through www.spfpp.org. We take Venmo!!!
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Trigger warning as we cover domestic abuse. Please protect yourself as we get to that part early on in the episode. Most of our focus is on self-image and body positivity.
Check your self-talk. If you have a hard time checking how you speak to yourself, then act out of accordance with those negative thoughts. Challenge hateful THOUGHTS with loving ACTIONS and see how that voice changes for you.
Please take the survey monkey to help us get in front of some very influential people who can make things happen for spfpp. One o my goals is to make finding support less challenging for people when they're diagnosed. Answering this two question survey gives me the data to get there (End date July 25, 2019): https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/XMTLTL8
This is the event I hope to attend: http://www.ncsddc.org/std-engage-2019/
Thank you all for your support. With a $25+ donation to spfpp.org send me your t-shirt size and address if you're in the USA and I'll send you a t-shirt!
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About the guest:
Emily "Keanunani" Arnstein is a former ballerina who spent her young life struggling with self-image after being criticized by the dance community for not having the right body shape and size. As an adult, she overcame these negative thought patterns by developing self-talk strategies, understanding the "function" of the body as it relates to health and fitness rather than placing the value of self-worth on physical appearance, and surrounding herself by an accepting and supportive community. She now studies and performs Hawaiian hula (a body-positive and accepting dance community) and aims to pay forward her improved sense of self to help empower others to overcome challenges with health, fitness, and body image, and to help them recognize their ability to make positive changes in their own lives.
Facebook: Healthy Hula Girl
Primarily masculine identifying people connect with me about the quantitative information about herpes and the primarily feminine identifying people connect with me about the qualitative information about herpes.
I want to test this by getting more men on the podcast so fellas, let's step up. I know there's a fear around being vulnerable and open about sexuality and the feelings behind a diagnosis but it's the only way to lower boundaries and connect!
We gotta match that energy being expressed in this space.
If you have the means to do so, please consider donating to Something Positive for Positive People by visiting www.spfpp.org. This supports the podcast and getting people living with an STI with therapy if they're struggling with their diagnosis. If that's a lot for you right now, please leave a review on whatever podcast player you're listening on.
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One of my favorite people I've yet to meet in real life, Christie Federico, Sexuality & Soul Alignment Coach joins SPFPP for a very lighthearted, fun conversation about self-worth. Applied to dating, it is important to know who you are, what's important to you, and have ways to identify if what's important to you is also important to prospective partners. Get this dating advice from a dating coach and if you're someone who'd like support in your dating life, don't hesitate to reach out to Christie about coaching!
About Christie: Christie Federico, M.Ed., is a Relationship + Sexual Empowerment Coach. She works with individuals and groups, helping them feel confident and fully expressed in their bodies, sexualities, and entire lives. Christie empowers her clients to align all aspects of their lives with their authentic selves so they can lead a life of meaning, deep connection, pleasure, and fulfillment.
visit www.christiefederico.com and follow her on Instagram @christiefederico
If you have the means and want to support what we're doing at SPFPP, visit www.spfpp.org and consider donating what you can to help us continue to expand.
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So what do my ex’s have to do with this? Literally everything. I had this EXperience with anxiety, I EXplored the behavior and emotions behind them. Through this came a need to EXpress which I was not healthily doing before due to the lack of awareness. I took different action through that anxiety and used it as fuel for expression. Communicating this was challenging at first but the confidence that followed allowed me to share or EXchange with others in a vulnerable fashion which led to further EXpansion of my own perspective.
What do your Ex's have to teach you? Do we have the same ones making us EX-kimo siblings? haha that was a reach!
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I interview Soraia Papaya, who uses she/they pronouns. Whenever I go into an interview, I set the standard that I would probably say the wrong thing or ask a ridiculous question. Fortunately everyone so far has been cool in correcting me. I asked about their use of she/they pronouns, some stereotypes within stereotypes around bisexuality such as this inherent belief of hyper promiscuity, inherent nonmonogamy, and association with transphobia which was completely new to me. We talk about this bi erasure through a push toward pansexuality in order to not exclude trans folx. There’s also this idea that bisexual people aren’t sure of their sexuality, and Soraia talks through her own experiences facing some of these stereotypes on Episode 87 of Something Positive for Positive People.
I’d say until recent conversations, I’ve shared some beliefs in some misconceptions as well. The thing about assumptions is that we’re either so confident in them that they don’t come up, or they don’t come up because we fear receiving a negative response from the person we ask. It can almost be perceived as a form of rejection if we approach it from a right/wrong standpoint. It’s about allowing ourselves to be redirected so that we can be more connected. In being able to speak with Soraia and sharing it on SPFPP, I hope you’re able to challenge your own assumptions and allow for deeper, more evolved connections to take place in your life.
Find me at www.spfpp.org because that’s an expensive website and we need the traffic lol. Stay Sex Positive!
Soraia can be found on Instagram @transformativesexologist
Mentioned resources from this episode:
“Bi: Notes for a Bisexual Revolution” by Shiri Eisner
Ella Dawson steps out of retirement to deliver some fire!!!!
Follow Ella Dawson on Instagram @brosandprose
Follow me on Instagram @HOnMyChest
Check out www.spfpp.org
and of course Stay Sex Positive!
How could Disney have made someone kinky? Should you disclose your herpes status in kink scenes? How do you know if you’re kinky? What’s the difference between being dominant and abusive? How does being kinky help you in business?
The answer is to listen to episode 85 of Something Positive for Positive People! Veronica Yanhs, a multi-passionate Kink & BDSM Educator breaks down all these for us in this episode. During our chat, we uncover my own personal beliefs about kink and what dominance and submission have looked like in past relationships. I’ve always felt a certain pull toward dominance, because that’s where my arousal leads me. Thing is, there’s a guilt there that created a resistance to naturally falling into what feels right for me and brings me the most pleasure. Veronica’s words opened that up for me to begin to challenge my beliefs and begin to heal that wound by going in and reshaping the story with the truth. So I’m on that journey. After hearing this episode, what journey will you be on?
Let me know what ya’ll think of the website www.spfpp.org and let me know if you have any feedback. I’m on social media @HOnMyChest
Considering exploring Dominant/Submissive kink dynamic? Click Here to join the waiting list for the book for beginners & starter pack!
About Veronica - Veronica is a multi-passionate entrepreneur on a mission to strip people bare—of the expectations and limiting beliefs that do not serve them—so they can thrive unapologetically exactly as they are.
From systems to spankings, she emboldens womxn to leverage their pleasure and power in business and the bedroom with Business Laid Bare (systems for creatives and entrepreneurs that scale and save their sanity) and Desires Laid Bare (kink education for beginners in a fun and shame-free way).
She gets all hot and bothered by diligent process, thoughtful protocols, and high-quality service: from the spreadsheets to the bedsheets.
Billy dated his partner for 7 months before they became aware of his positive HIV status. Billy's story shows what it really means to support a partner during a challenging time in their life. While he has not tested positive for HIV himself, the perspective Billy has is one from seeing how a partner's internalization of a positive diagnosis can effect everything around us. This is a damn good episode to listen to if you are considering dating someone with a positive STI status and if you're someone who is positive but you can't get over the fact that you may expose your partner to your condition. This discordant conversation has come up often recently in DMs and this story is a REAL instance of what it can look like when a person literally forces another away due to their own feelings about their positive diagnosis.
Oh and SVAKOM was kind enough to offer us a huge discount on their pleasure toys! Visit www.svakom.net and select your items. When you get to checkout, use the promo code +people (plus sign people all one word) to get 40% off your purchase!
Cearra and I are fans of this pleasure toy company and appreciate the recommendation from Instagram's S.xuallectual who introduced us to this company's products.
Check out the website! It's live! www.spfpp.org
Working on language but I'm so pumped to have this up it doesn't even matter ha!
Billy can be found on Instagram for more sex ed and STI facts in their Facebook stories: @billyroyperez and @svakomusa
Connect with me through the website www.spfpp.org
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Lindsey informs us about another common virus in the herpes family, cytomegalovirus defined by the CDC as: Cytomegalovirus (pronounced sy-toe-MEG-a-low-vy-rus), or CMV, is a common virus that infects people of all ages. Over half of adults by age 40 have been infected with CMV. Once CMV is in a person’s body, it stays there for life and can reactivate. Most people infected with CMV show no signs or symptoms. However, CMV infection can cause serious health problems for people with weakened immune systems and for unborn babies https://www.cdc.gov/cmv/index.html
Given the political climate we're in right now where reproductive rights are being restricted, the timeliness of this episode is important for a number of reasons. Lindsey shares her experience through her pregnancy where she finds out after alerting the doctor that she knew something wasn't right with her body repeatedly and then being dismissed, only to find out later that at some point she had been exposed to CMV during her pregnancy.
Lindsey found out about this several weeks into the pregnancy and was given the information on what the baby's life could look like if she chose to go through with birthing the child. She was informed about the child's potential disabilities and challenges it would face IF it would not be stillborn. Lindsey was given a choice and made the choice that she felt was best for her.
For more information on CMV please visit www.nationalcmv.org
If you'd like to purchase a SPFPP t-shirt to support the nonprofit, Something Positive for Positive People, please let me know and we can figure out how to get that to you. They are $25. I'll make a real announcement once the website goes live.
I'm on social media at HOnMyChest.
Stay Sex Positive!