There’s a range of emotions that come with dating. While it starts often with physical attraction, it’s common to decide to look at the more important things once the person has you by the eyes. From there, you choose to have a written exchange if you’re on a dating site like Dating Positives, or a verbal exchange if you’re in a social setting. From there you’re deciding whether or not this person is compatible with you. What’s amazing about this process is that you are naturally empowered as the chooser. “Are they a fit for me?” is the question we’re answering during the exchange with the potential partner. By the end of the exchange, we know if we want another one or if there’s no need for doing it again. If not, we move on and repeat this process with the next potential partner.

And then there’s those of us who can’t relate to the luxury of being able to decide based on appearance if someone is a fit for us. Physical attraction, conversation, lifestyle, etc. tends to carry a much lighter load when you seek partners based on whether or not you’re a fit for them. I struggled with this after my positive herpes diagnosis for years. I began to look at prospective partners based on how they viewed me. Am I a right fit for you? What can I do to be a better fit? And then there was always the lingering covert expectation of “if I’m everything else they need in a partner, then they won’t mind that I have herpes”. Where did these thoughts come from between the time I likely contracted herpes and when I actually found out I had herpes? Nothing changed except for the fact that I was now aware of something that just lived in my body. I let its coming out of hiding completely change the way I did dating and relationships.

I found someone who was able to elaborate almost parallel to my experience around this time and decided to have a conversation with her on the Something Positive for Positive People Podcast where I interviewed her about dating with herpes. Our guest for this episode talks about making dating decisions from this space of being chosen rather than being the chooser and just how it can mess with your head to have to potentially deal with that rejection, especially in a casual dating environment. Living in Bali, she shares the experiences she’s had disclosing her positive status to partners and the various responses she’s gotten from partners still not wanting to use condoms, changing their mind from accepting her status to not accepting it, the importance of disclosing to casual partners or not disclosing, and then of course being flat out rejected.

Check out this episode to hear about Adrienne’s experience casual dating and disclosing and not disclosing to partners in this casual atmosphere. What we learned from these experiences and what her audience on Instagram surprisingly thinks about whether or not to disclose to casual sexual partners.

About the guest:

Adrienne Rommel, is a Certified Nutritional Practitioner, Yoga Teacher and Mindfulness Coach from Toronto, Canada has a passion for women’s sexual health and wellness. As a 37-year young woman, she’s struggled with her own Yoni and sexual health issues since she was a teenager. For her, it was the lack of sexual education and increased antibiotic use as a child, long-term birth control pill use, lack of STI awareness, bad diet, high stress lifestyle and unresolved emotional trauma that contributed to her own personal sexual health issues. Having struggled with her own sexual health for half her life, she’s lived with HSV-2 genitally for 16 years and is prone to yeast infections, but has healed herself through diet and natural holistic wellness and healing practices. Experiencing it first-hand and having the knowledge as a Certified Holistic Nutritionist, she helps women who are struggling with their own personal Yoni and sexual health issues, heal their bodies and Yoni’s from the inside out, just like she healed her own. She is also a new member of the Herpes Activist Network Dismantling Stigma, HANDS! Adrienne can be connected with on: Instagram, Facebook, Youtube @YoniNutritionist and her website is

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If you like this episode please like, rate, review and share this podcast! I’m on social media @HOnMyChest! Stay sex positive!

Johana Dominguez teaches us that while it could always be worse, things ALWAYS can be better. Living 8 years with genital HSV taught her to shift that negative self talk. Below are some great takeaways from this SPFPP episode

- There's always someone there to support you

- We are in control of what happens within us

- Say it until you believe it and absorb relative content the person you want to be would take in

- It's easier to share your status to infinite strangers than to loved ones

- Her only regret is not having told her family sooner 

- Distractions in relationships

Johana can be found on:

Instagram @IAmCoachJo Facebook: Johana Dominguez Coaching Website:

The Patreon Page is live if you want to support the show financially: and if you'd rather support another way, please subscribe to the podcast and leave a review.

I can be found on Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr and Reddit @HOnMyChest (H-ON-MY-CHEST is the pronunciation)

Stay Sex Positive!

St. Louis MO - We've seen a rise in new cases of syphilis and discuss some of the contributions there. We discuss not only stigma factors but also the influence of politics in availability for medical treatment.

There's an exclusive announcement in this podcast episode as to another service PP will be providing really soon from the time of release.

The internal condom has come up a few times over the last two weeks so we also discuss that.

Planned Parenthood offers a wide range of services that goes beyond family planning and sexual health services. They offer cancer screenings ya'll!

And as the title suggests, we talk more about syphilis and its rising. 

Use these services, get tested and if you come up positive, seek treatment. Know your status and get yourself tested!

I'm on social media @HOnMyChest (especially Instagram where I"m most active) Please rate, review and share this podcast to show your support to the community or you can financially support the podcast at

Stay Sex Positive!

Texas Wears Condoms is a San Antonio based organization that ships 25 condoms per month to Texas residents for no cost. I had the pleasure of speaking with Ambie, the Community Outreach Specialist about her role and get more details about the organization. is where you can go to place your order today! Nonprofit organizations such as this one add so much value to destigmatizing STIs by providing a safe space for people to get the resources they need for their sexual health. Please support them if you can by utilizing their service or volunteering to help with packaging and distribution. Call their Volunteer Services line at 210-743-5730 or visit for more opportunities.

There is also an anonymous Q&A with Ambie at 

The Patreon page is up if you'd like to financially support Something Positive for Positive People and that link is .

I'm on Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr and Reddit @HonMyChest.

Please support the show by sharing it with someone who can benefit from the content and leave us a review to help us grow.

Stay Sex Positive! is an online platform aimed to normalize conversations around HIV/AIDS. We're in a time where these are manageable conditions and they need to be treated as such.

Rashard and I address HIV's prevalence in the black community and how harmful the stigma is in relation to people prioritizing their own pride over their physical health.

What could've been 2 episodes easily, has been trimmed down to 1 longer one. We discuss race which is something I know can be touchy, but as a community of sex positive people, this is something that has relevance to this particular conversation and we can all find useful if we listen.

Leave a review, share the podcast, or join the Patreon to financially support the podcast at

I'm on Instagram (most active there) @HOnMyChest. And I'm on Twitter, Tumblr and Reddit.

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I'm joined again by one of my favorite humans, Jenelle Marie Pierce, Founder & Executive Director of The STD Project. (I told ya'll we're uplifting more nonprofits on this hub of sex positive resources ;) and Founder of HANDS - Herpes Activists Networking to Dismantle Stigma to discuss what HANDS is and some upcoming projects we're involved with including Break the Stigma Day.

Devin Elise Wilson, Founder of Love Profound and fellow HANDS Member got the ball rolling on an amazing project to help dismantle the stigma of living with herpes. 6 months after herpes awareness day, she thought it'd be great to do something specifically useful in getting loved ones involved to help show support to those who may not feel safe sharing their positive diagnosis.

For more info on how you can get involved with HANDS, check out 

I'm on Instagram @HOnMyChest

I set up a Patreon for those who want to safely support the show by contributing financially. The URL is

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The ideation of Something (sex) Positive for (sex) Positive People had multiple catalysts and this experience was one of them. Adding to the goals, I choose to uplift organizations such as this Nonprofit, St. Louis Effort for AIDS that provide services to people who are positive with HIV and AIDS, as well as offer sex education resources, free condoms, free STD testing and affordable treatment!

My experience led me to believe the destigmatization of herpes, the shame around contracting an STI, and unwillingness to know your status stems from the belief that you'll be judged for engaging in sexual activities with partners. When I was tested, while I identify as cis-gendered, heterosexual male, he/him prounouns, I was asked that. I was asked if I was or engaged in sexual acts with sex-workers, trans-people, other cis-men, and I felt the intention was genuinely to be able to inform me according to my sexual preferences and how my health could be affected based on any health risks associated with the kind of sex I have.

Uplifting these shame free environments and making it normal to seek regular STI treatment, use these free condoms and get treated soon will help create space for people to be more understanding and aware of the risks that come with having partnered sex so that we're better prepared for how to deal with and manage an STI if we are exposed to one or if someone discloses to us that they have one. This allows for a partner to make a more educated/informed decision while creating shame-free space where the person disclosing is empowered to continue disclosing and giving partners that choice again and again if relevant. 

The compassion and empathy I was met with was beyond anything I received at an organization whose services I paid for. This nonprofit is just one of many all over the world that offers these services and I encourage everyone to utilize them. I challenge you listeners of this podcast to find, use, and share these resources so that it's more taboo NOT to know your status than it is to be positive so that we can begin to get treatment early and give sexual partners all the info they need to make a fully consensual decision to move forward sexually with us.

Enjoy this episode.

This organization is and their Instagram is @STLEFA. I'm on Instagram @HOnMyChest

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A woman who believes in the power of knowing and loving yourself, Erica sees beauty in ordinary things & has an artsy, creative side. In her eyes, sexuality is such a fundamental part of us as human beings & is at the root of what makes a person who they are. Through her work, she endeavors to unblock situations that keep one from sexual fulfillment by normalizing natural human sexual behavior.

Her Instagram page @s.xuallectual is an extension of her being. Check out this episode as she shares her chlamydia horror story and having to navigate the challenge of disclosing an STD to not one but two partners! Her story teaches us to move forward in a more informed way. While many of us disconnect from our bodies and sex after having been exposed to an STD, Erica shares a useful way to communicate with your partner(s) to better understand the potential risks of sexual encounters and how to move forward.

If you’d like to work together, Erica’s job will be toward a jointly constructed action-plan designed to move toward your goals. Your job will be to set the agenda which can include any facet of your sex life in which you seek improvement, enhancement, or expansion.

Erica is Consensual Non-Monogamy, Kink, BDSM, LGBTQ+ and Sex Worker Friendly. Connect

Piggybacking off of Rae's episode where we discuss support groups, we have Heather who runs the support group HSV in the City and is on Instagram @hsvinthecity. Heather didn't have support groups in her local area. Through Instagram's Positive.Results.ATX she found support but way on the other side of the country. In this group, she was encouraged to create something she needed and didn't have access to and here we are. She also shares her own experience having been diagnosed accidentally without consenting to the test. Listen to why this is one of the best things to ever have happened to her! If you are in the Washington D.C. area seeking support, don't hesitate to connect with Heather!

Stay Positive!

Those Break the Stigma Day (April 24th 2019) hashtags are: #btsd #breakthestigma #whatstigma #herpesstigma

At long last we finally get an interview with Rae, who manages support groups in Austin, Texas for women living with HSV under the Instagram handle: @positive.results.atx

We talk about support groups and a little bit about what managing them may look like for someone considering doing so. We bring up the healing power we receive in giving, and of as the title says, "Choosing the Better Option".

"Rae is a ray of sunshine" is a cheesy understatement when she herself embodies the sun itself with her presence. A Sister Servant and amazing friend to have, I'm so honored to have been able to share your story on this platform to help people.

Connect with Rae on IG @positive.results.atx and check out some of the amazing work she does uplifting the Sisterhood she represents to the fullest!

Stay Positive!

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